dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
