Sponge bath it is.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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