as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
