Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
