Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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