apparently the secret to your success is patron
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
a search helicopter?!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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