They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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