i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pappa wants mamma naked
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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