Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
