I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize