they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
