there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
