I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
