dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
