So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
