By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
