So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
