You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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