My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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