Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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