I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
