Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I want is dick and wine.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
