Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
