five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
