I just cut my nipple shaving
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
