Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
