What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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