I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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