my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
