Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was born a porn star she said
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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