We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
