I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
