D3 body, D1 cock
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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