What a fucking waste of an outfit
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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