Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
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Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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