you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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