Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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