I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads