You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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