If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am