i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh