covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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