Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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