I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
