apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
