Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
