If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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