I love having hate sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
