last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I could make wine with my vomit
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
this hospital has no fireball
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
