So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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