So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
