And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
