i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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