So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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