i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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