Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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