I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
