Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
