She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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